According to psychoanalytic theory, we create an inner world in the unconscious since birth. Unconscious can be defined as the sum of images of people that take care of us and the experience that are accepted or inhibited depending on their way of fulfilling our needs and demands.
A baby’s emotional and intellectual capacity is very limited. It cannot comprehend others’ authenticity and perceives emotions in extreme forms. “Good” experiences are idealized and “omnipotence” promotes fantasies. On the other hand, “Bad” experiences are perceived as very scary, assimilative and persecutory. Situations in the outside world are interpreted according to the baby’s very persuasive and charming inner world.
So we can say that relationships with our environment are determined by the experiences in early years of life. In some cases, relationships and life experiences, some primitive emotions are triggered. For example, someone who has lost their parent at a very young age may experience abandonment anxiety in their relationship a spouse. In psychotherapy process, by transference, psychotherapist can see these relationship patterns repeating unconsciously, even without real data about the client.
Melike Kayhan, Psychoanalyst, Psychotherapist, Couples Therapist